Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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