it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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