You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
