There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
