There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
send nudes
from the living room?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize