She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
This is the high leading the old right now
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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