So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
