So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Randomize
