This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
someone get that fucking seahorse.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
