We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
