She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
