Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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