Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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