I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
