I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
