I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm bleeding and have questions
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
