I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
