It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize