I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
