i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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