I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
this will be a night to untag.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
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