I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
