What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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