i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
