My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
