Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
