at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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