Swine flu. Run for my life!
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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