so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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