I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
jump out the window naked night went bad
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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