I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
