Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
