The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
