I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
