i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Randomize
