We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
