I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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