I just saw a hot homeless man
Apparently you make a good broom.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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