I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
