Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
