He had one of those small greek statue penises
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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