just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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