He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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