they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
