Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
