Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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