Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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