I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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