Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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