Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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