You're completely useless in the revolution.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
