I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
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