He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
