Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
My dad is sitting where you rode me
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
