Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
