I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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