i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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