He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
