So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm like, not good at living.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
