Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
