Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
