doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Your dad touched me again.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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